Anticipation!

 Ok, which did you think of, the ketchup commercial or Carly Simon?

All my stuff!  I keep thinking about "back then" and where all my things are...I lived in that house (not home) for 20 years, and can still see every nook and cranny in my head.  I know where everything of mine is.  

Ah, but since he will be unsupervised by anyone on "my side," I will get what I get and I will be happy with what I get.  I really don't think he will keep anything of mine on purpose.  

And there he'll be left with a great big house.  Empty of everything except the demons.  

It's all his.  All of it.  He wins!

Kidding, of course.

I, myself, am the glorious, victorious winner!  The Queen of Everything has been restored!

Her Throne is small, as is her kingdom.  That's how she likes it.

TA DA!

I just playin', kinda.  I am the Queen Mother, my kids treat me very nicely and love me.  

At this stage of my game, I could also be called a Dowager (right, Danielle?), which I really don't care for the sound of of the word, and the first definition does not fit at all, hopefully the second one does...

dow·a·ger

[ˈdouəjər]

NOUN

1. a widow with a title or property derived from her late husband:

   "the dowager duchess" · "the queen dowager"

   • INFORMAL
     a dignified elderly woman:
     "a handsome dowager was standing in front of the mirror"
     
     

 Or, a Crone, which I do like the sound of the word, but I had to search for the definition that fits what I mean...most of the defs were appearance descriptive, but I mean the "aspect" of what being this age is like...

crone

  (krōn)

n.

1. Derogatory An old woman considered to be ugly; a hag.

2. A woman who is venerated for experience, judgment, and wisdom.

 I'll take 2 for the win.  

Well, that was a nice distraction.  I also did my morning chores, which I will probably detail in a later blog, because I know you are dying to know.  *insert saracastic tone here*

I remembered that I had a brand new pair of Skecher sneakers over there in my closet, I hope they make it here.  He bought them, so it's iffy.  Not a big deal.  (Random thought)

So, I'll close for now and work on some burnings.  

I made this one for my Aunt.  

She's a good, Christian woman,

and she makes beautiful quilts.

  

These are going in my bathroom

This one is hanging on my front door.

I don't have many visitors, 

and those that do always call...

but you never know.

If you see something you're interested in, leave me a comment, or hit me up at cndfrnd@gmail.com.  Put something clever in the subject, just for grins.

2 days away from Stuff Day!  

Play Nice!  xxoo

Greg says, "Meow."  

(Literally, that's all he can say)

*gs*

Is It Over? Part 2

 Well,

He (my ex) decided that my volunteers weren't good enough.  

"What if they drop a piece of furniture and cause $800 damage to my floor?"

????

Wouldn't accept a payment plan if that happened.  Instead he did agree to accept $50 a month repayment to him, if he would pay for a moving company. 

Yeah, he did some pretty big emotional damage to me, and threatened my life.  Seems fair that I pay for getting my stuff.  *insert sarcastic snort here*

As the agreements state, he will give me the title to my car (the one he bought for me for my birthday), once my belongings are out of his house.  There is nothing stating that I have to repay him completely before I get the title, but I'd bet you a big dollar that he's gonna pull that shit, and you know what?  Cool.  He can keep up the insurance on it, too.  

That's another year...but I will have my things, and can really start starting over.  

Thinking about all my STUFF...my clothes, my shoes, my coats....all my craft supplies.  The furniture I have from my grandmothers, my mom and dad's things I've kept...all my photos from back in the day....my computer!  I don't own a lot of things, but they are mine and I will have them back in my possession.  

And, I know that they are just things, and that I can live without them.  Actually had been getting my heart used to not having those things anymore, but I really do miss them.  I'm tired of where I live being so scant of homey things.  My walls are pretty bare, my floors are pretty bare, and poor Greg only has a cardboard box as a fort.  

I'll have my sewing machine back!  I haven't used it in a minute, probably have to relearn it, but that will be my pleasure!  

So, now the plan is that a moving company will show up at his house next Thursday (30th) at 9 am.  They will pack and load my STUFF onto their truck, bring it to my house and unload it.  

I am feeling cautiously giddy.

More to come.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

Is it Over?

Small Backstory:

In December of 2021, the man I had lived with for two decades pointed a gun at  me and threatened to kill me.

This was after years of emotional abuse, and it had ramped up considerable in the weeks leading up to this.

He spent 4 nights in jail, and I ran away.  

I was homeless for over a year.  I finally have a place of my own, and am ready to retrieve my belongings I had to leave behind when I ran.  

This Saturday is the day.  I have a truck rented, volunteers (since I am not allowed to be present...but I couldn't have gone anyway) at the ready.  I am a nervous wreck, so afraid something will go wrong before then.  

I have had zero communication with him since that night.  He's so afraid of everything, while acting like he's all that.  Puny little tiny sick man.  

Friday, March 24, 2023

I am waiting to go into town to sign said papers and pick up a u-haul.  Oh my word, I am nervous.  So close, so close to being done with that.  Hopefully now the nightmares with cold sweats will dissipate.'

He hasn't tried to contact me once.  Which is great, I am not sad about that.  My point is now there will be zero reason for him to contact me.  I won't be constantly on the lookout for him when I go to town.  He will no longer have anything over me  Wow...

It's been a long time.  A r.e.a.l.l.y long time.  The sad thing is that he wasn't always like this, it's just his demons finally took over his brain.  

I have so much I want to say to him.  In a letter.  I want to list out all my woes and sorrows and put the blame on him but you know what?  It wouldn't stick.  He'd take it to the golf course and read it out loud for the boys under the Beer Tree.  

So, instead.  I think I'll just write him a letter that says, "I forgive you."

Gotta go!  

To be Continued...

xxoo

Friiday Morning Thougts 3-17-23

Inner Voice, Inner Wisdom, Intuition...

I hear it all the time, the whispers inside.  Somehow, though, I'm not giving this voice enough volume.  No, that's not right...I'm not giving this voice enough attention and acknowledgement.  It's like I hear it, but the another thought comes right on top of it, distracting me.  

So, I'm trying to be aware of those thoughts as they come in.  Actually "hear" them.  

I am pondering on a very important problem that I have.  I'm hoping that if I listen hard enough, I will come up with a solution.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

Cyber Friendships

02-20-2023

"Thank you for being a friend."

I found out this weekend that one of my friends passed away on Christmas Day, and I've been thinking about this a lot.

We were the kind of friends that cared about each other very much, but didn't visit often.  We hadn't been friends very long, and we only got together in person a handful of times. 

But...at any given moment she or I would send the other a message, or a leave a comment or a heart, in the cyber world, we kept in good contact with each other.  

She had lung cancer, went through all the treatments, got better, it came back.  

The last time we chatted was in the beginning of December, she was restarting treatments.  She would contact me when she was feeling better and could talk more.  After some time had passed  I sent her a message and it was never seen...I put off finding out for sure until I got the courage to contact her daughter.  

She's not on the other side of my screen anymore, and my heart is hurting over the loss.  

You know, that show "Catfish" shows people that have relationships cyberly for years without meeting, only to find out they've been lied to all those years.

I've been lucky.  I have some real, true cyber friends.  We have followed each other's lives from our side of the screen.  We've shared our highs and lows, our ins and outs, supported and gotten support.  They are my friends.

And honestly, since my girl, Dammit Janet, passed away in 2018, and since my departure from my previous life in 2021, I don't have any "real world" friends.  I have family of course, and most of us are pretty close, but you know...that's family.  

I live a pretty reclusive life.  You may have noticed that if you've been reading here a little bit.  I like being home.  More honesty, I am scared to death of trusting anyone in my real life world.   

Update 3-17-23

Back to the Cyber Friendships...

I have a couple of girls, us three have been friends since the early 2000's.  We've lost and mourned, we've achieved and celebrated, we have been there through thick and thin.  

They are the girls I visit with over coffee in the morning.  Even being far away,  that's a connection.  We are not entirely alone.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

I love this guy.  *swoon*

Wednesday Morning

 I have been writing quite a bit, just not publishing much.  Maybe someday.  

Just sitting here at my kitchen table.  Greg is sitting on the sill of his favorite window, watching the wildlife (birds, squirells).  No TV or music playing, just sitting here thinking my thoughts.

I'm putting off contacting "his" lawyer, the whole thing, getting the rest of my stuff from his place.  I want my things, but it all gives me such a sick feeling...

So, it's March now, has been and almost over.  Time flies so fast now.  

I think I have finally fixed Greg's tail problem.  Without going into too much detail this time, he'd been worrying the base of his tail, causing wounds, which caused him to lick, and it just went on and on.

Allergies?  Anxiety?  Who knows, because the little stinker wouldn't touch food with a hint of medicine mixed in.  And forget all about the CBD treat.  Even crumbled in his dry food he wouldn't eat it, and he was quite disgusted with me for even trying.  

Don't ask me how I know, I just do.  Cat people will get it.  

Anyway, got some anti-fungal anti-parasite spray.  It's working.  Probably because it tastes too bad to lick, and whatever was bothering him might have been fungal or parasite.  

Whatever, his hair is growing back, and we are both very happy about that.

Speaking of Greg, he loves the laser toy!  My place is small but we manage to get him a good workout in a couple times a day, at least.  

Speaking of workout, a yoga mat is on my next order.  Finally!  

Oh, forgot to mention, I had a little anniversary this week.  March 14th, 2017 I had a heart attack.  Got to try out the Life Flight helicopter (Do not recommend, drugs are great, but the trip was pretty expensive).  

Shout out to the healers at St. Luke's East!  I'm still here!  

So, leave a comment if you have come this far, read back if you want to catch up.  Come check out my Facebook page, you could Like, Follow, Share...all those little clickety click things you can do with one finger!  

 

I'm doing my bathroom in Octopus.  

Handmade by Cosmo

Play Nice!  xxoo