So, for about a month we were able to get on a level ground. He wasn't upset with me, we were chatting and laughing together like old times. After they played golf, I would go up to the clubhouse, fill a cooler of beers and we'd all sit under a big shade tree to drink a couple of beers and share knowledge.
I even made a sign for the tree. "Beer Tree."
You, you reading here, know that I have been trying to convey my concerns to the golf boys regarding how things have been going at home. Gotta say there wasn't much interest or concern shown by them.
But now, well, he's shown himself at the golf course. And now he's out of the golf group, which means, yep, he's here all the damn day.
Thanks to those golf boys, for turning their backs on their so-called "friend." I told them I needed help, and they just left us high and dry.
Now I have him here all day, and he's not a happy camper. I have to be very careful with my words because who the heck knows what is going to upset him. Even the word "ok" is suspicious to him.
He took the dogs for a walk today. I put their harnesses on them, handed him the leash and said, "have fun."
"Have fun why?" Me: "Why wouldn't you?" He: mumble mumble
Jesus Lord, I am a miserable unit. But no one would know it on the outside.
He's in the kitchen having a conversation with himself (or whoever), and laughing. And I have to overlook this. I have to pretend it isn't happening. But by God, I better not say the word "stuff," or that will put him in a freaking tail spin.
I am working so hard on staying in a positive mood, and for the most part it's working, but underneath it all, I am sad, exhausted, anxious, and cannot for the life of me figure out the best course of action. I'm afraid that there is no best course.
I really hate feeling stuck. I wish my daughter was in the United States.
Play Nice! xxoo
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