My boys came to visit me last night, and while I love my boys, I also had plans in my head how I was going to spend my evening, but better than being ignored, I guess.
My sister, Mary, finally took her car to a mechanic to see why it wouldn't hold a charge but he couldn't find anything wrong with it? I love her. Poor old thing. Tomorrow David's family are going to hold a "Celebration of Life" for him...5 months after his death, on the day after what would have been his birthday (today)...I told her I'd go with her if she wanted to go, but she declined. I don't blame her, his whole family is just like him. Abrasive, harsh, crude...and besides, all the lies he told her that we found out the truth about, her memory of him is very tarnished.
Just like mine is of Jack. They were great in the beginning, but what they ultimately did ruined everything.
I have been mentally grappling with myself, wanting justice/revenge/my side of the story to be heard, but none of that matters now. It's in my head. The people that I want to know the truth don't give a flying flip about me, that's painfully obvious. I just gotta get over it myself, and eventually I will.
My Young Son, on the other hand...well, I'm just thankful for Bryan being able to talk him down, somewhat, but Gator still wants his ounce of flesh. I don't blame him one bit. I told him to wait and let Karma take care of it, so he said, "My name is Karma."
He's my "Young Son" but in reality he is a Grown Man. I have zero control over what he does. I can advise, warn, and caution, but not control.
And here's a wake up call for you younger adults. It may be kinda hard to swallow but here's what I've learned.
You can't fix everyone's problems. Even if you can see the solution right there out in the open where anyone can see it, maybe they can't. They have to figure it out for themselves. You can advise, warn, caution, share an experience, but that's it. Even if you have the power to force them to do something, and they do, they will resent you for it.
Our job is to take care of ourselves, help others when we can, but the only person in this world that you can totally control is yourself.
In other news...
Today I celebrate 1 year, 365 days, without a drink of any sort of alcohol. After at least 40 years of daily drinking, the last 10 being drunk more than not. I am a very high functioning alcoholic.
I have to say that I kinda miss it, but not enough to break my streak. The boys left a cold beer here last night, and it will stay in the fridge until their next visit, because if I drank one, I just know that would lead me straight down that same path, and I've already chosen the other fork in the road. Ta Da for me!
Play Nice! xxoo
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