The saga continues. And October is almost here.
You know, I have been putting up with this bull shit treatment from him for a long, long time. Almost 9 years now, of our 21 years together, the last 9 years has been the absolute worst of my life.
He told me the other night that he didn't want me living here if I wasn't his girlfriend.
Just let me tell you right now, that our intimacy is for his benefit only, and I am not going to bring the subject up.. Trust me, I would rather just go to bed by myself and get a good night's sleep. I would LOVE to wake up in the morning without the first emotion being anxious, listening to see where he is in the house and what he is saying, which sometimes will give me a clue where his mentality is that day.
It's never a good morning around here. If I go out to the kitchen and say, "good morning," in a "let's have a good day" kind of voice, he'll mumble, "yeah it's a morning," "or he will yell something about the dogs, just to shut me up.
But...If I come into the kitchen and don't say anything to him, I get the stink eye and the rest of the day I am shaky and anxious.
I have got to get out of here. I am absolutely concerned about my sanity and physical health.
Please, pray for me. xxoo
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