Exhausted

 I am tired.  I am tired of my legs trembling, as well as my whole body, as soon as I wake up in the morning.

My sleeping was so ragged last night, I actually had to pick my bedspread up off the floor.  Stayed in bed until 11 am, too.

At any given moment, he will come into my work room to yell FU in my ear.  

I have to start getting ready to escape.  

When he gets me in this frame of mind, I feel trapped.  Like ropes around me.  I wish I was strong enough to stand up to him.  

Tonight, as I sit in my work room, listening to him playing the same songs on his phone. 

Smooth Operator is one of them.

Ricky don't lose that number...

If I could share with you the absolute loss I am feeling.  I know he isn't mentally well, and that will be found before too long.  A person can only hide a mental illness for just so long.  And then, hopefully some care giving institution will take care of him.  

Oh my gosh, in the beginning of our romance, we were peas in a pod.

I was working 4 jobs at one point, he made sure my kids got to school and home afterwards.

His mom, Janie (her real first name was LaRue), and I became fast friends.  I had lost my mom in June of that year..  I really loved Janie, too.  Anyway

His dad, Dean, and I became friends, too.  After Janie passed he would help me with making dinner.

Dean loved our cat, PorkChop, too.