Today is Thursday

 I sold a cigar box from my etsy shop, I'm tickled about that, mailing it off tomorrow.

Been working on some Christmas wall hangings, I'm liking how they are coming out.  They'll be in my shop in November.

The situation at home...the last time I spoke to him (before today) was on Tuesday, I thanked him for making coffee.  

"Don't thank me, it's just there."

Following his lead, which clearly shows that if I open my mouth he is going to react in a negative way, which I am getting pretty sick and tired of, I have not spoken to him since then (until today).

On Tuesday afternoon, he so cordially came back to my work room and asked, "Don't you want to suck a paleface dick?"

I did not respond.

Wednesday was quiet, nothing said by either of us.  Oh, besides him telling me to take care of the dogs, pffft.

I almost thought yesterday afternoon, he was acting a little less crazy, but he made up for that today, let me tell you!

My sister just had surgery on the vertebrae in her neck last week.  She lives here in the same town as I do.  

Today I went and got she and I a tenderloin (to split), and some Qs, then we went to the park by the lake and ate lunch.  It was a lovely time.  We went back to her house and just had a nice couple of hours.  

He was gone when I left.  Of course I did not leave a note, we're past that.

I came in, greeted the canines, and they were excited because I had been petting kittys at my sister's.

I'd been home about 10 minutes, he came back here saying something about palefaces and dicks...I told him to just leave me be.  I've been leaving him be, just leave me be.

He:  This is my house!
Me:  Yep
He:  You act like you think you own it.
Me.  Nope
He:  Oh blah blah blah, no no no no, nope, then he stomps back down the hall.  

I hate living here.  Any feelings I ever had for him are gone.  No loyalty, no respect, no love at all. 

Yes, I know he's mentally not well, but I'm not programmed to handle this sort of rage and anger by myself!  It just isn't fair for me to have to put up with his bullshit day in and day out.  

Play Nice.  xxoo

What I really hate...is the hate I feel for him.  I don't want to be that kind of person, but what, exactly, should I feel for him?  The last 10 years has been all about his mental trauma, as a child, due to his parents.  I can't fix him!  His behaviors were caused by his parents.  A mean dad and a docile mother.  

He was a breech birth, his mother was 40 years old.  I can't imagine the childhood he had.  

But...that has nothing to do with me.  I have tried for the last 10 years to keep this whatever it is we have, level.

And now...I am going to get the "F" outta here, and live the rest of my life in peace and harmony.  I've done my duty.  I can't fix him.  

Done.