Becoming Aware

 My very best friend, my daughter, is in another country, with her military husband, and my 3 grandkids,

My best friend, Dammit Janet, passed away in 2017.

Those that I counted as friends, then, was the golf group that he played with every day since forever.  And their respective spouses.

I haven't heard from them since whenever this happened.  One boy has communicated, period.  

They finally saw what I was trying to tell them, and when they did, they turned their backs!  

I can not count them as friends anymore.  Friends don't leave friends to deal with crazy all by themselves.  Plus knowing that he is so angry, but pffft, they don't care.  

I think I am going to leave this town.  As soon as I can.  Whatever material things I have, I can get again.  To wake up in the morning, 1st of all without being woken up, but to wake up in the morning and not have to listen to know where he is in the house, and pretty much what kind of crazy is going to happen on this day.  

Pretty sure my son and a few friends would be happy to bring my most important things to me.  

Someone that lives in this house, and it isn't me, is very, very afraid of my Young Son.  Young Son made him flinch the last time they had a discussion.  

Wow, that was almost 2 years ago!  

One of my sisters still lives here in this town, but she's kinda in a mid-life crisis herself.  Maybe I'll wait to see how that plays out, if I can.

'Cos I gotta tell you, livin' with crazy ain't no fun ride. 

So, he's in the kitchen, I am in my work room.  This house (not home) is not a mansion, we can normally hear each other from each end of the house.  

*ding* a message from him (gasp)  THE DOGS NEED MORE TREATS.
Ordered today.  (aaaaasssssss)

Then, a bit later, I'm talking to a customer on the phone, and he's coming back here about being so loud.  

Dumbass, this is business.  Go sit on the patio if I am being too loud CONDUCTING BUSINESS!

One of these days I am going to be able to tell him how I really feel.  He may be dead before he'll let me get a word in edgewise, but I will take that opportunity to tell him how I really feel and I hope his soul hears it!

Now before you go getting upset about me being upset about his behavior because he's mentally impaired, I tried and tried and tried and tried and tried to get him some help.  

Just now:  "You don't want me to yell fuck you, but you won't mind your own business."  
Honestly, I didn't ask him anything, except if he had a good day, which he acknowledged and answered in the affirmative.

This is what I am dealing with.  There's no gray, just black and white.  He is a

NARCISSIST

Love you all!  xxoo