Impact

Nope, not the font used on memes.  I was today years old when I learned that there are a bunch of memes out there regarding using this font on memes.  Hilarious.

Nah, I'm thinking about the impact that we make on others without even knowing it.  I mean, for example, not too long ago two of my friendships went through a status change.  Being the loner, I became the odd one out.  The other two, I assume, stayed connected.

Now you know that I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason, and I'm not going to go into the reasons, suffice it to say that I was relieved.  

I also believe that what's done is done, so I didn't do any lurking.  I have no interest in that regard. What they may have said is none of my business.  

The point is that I got a notification that one of them had changed their insta to private.  Now it very well may not have been because of me, but if it was, dang. 

Feeling the impact of what happened?  

So, in thinking about this, that's what got me to thinking.  I know this isn't a new idea, but it's one that I'd like to keep in the front of my brain.  

I mean, I try my best to be kind to everyone, to be friendly, upbeat, positive.  Trust me, I tried being "quiet" and that just doesn't suit me at all.  To go through a check out line without asking the cashier about her day is something that I can't do.  I've been on the other side of that line, and I do remember the customers that were sincerely nice.  

Except for that old man that lives in this complex that thought it would be ok to come to my door at 9:00 pm to ask me for help with his electric stove.  I got such weird vibes from him, I pretty much shut the door in his face.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

I made this, do you like it?

Handmade by Cosmo

It's been a Week already

 I've already had a shower, got dressed, and drank a pot of coffee.  Well, half a pot, probably.  Ok, 2 cups.  

Looks like I've lost a couple of old friends this week.  It's that Reason, Season, Lifetime thing.  

Is it wrong that I am not more upset?  I did see it coming, though, I think I mentioned it here before. 

 Learning more lessons.  Re-learning some, too.

Like I told my daughter, my circle grows smaller.   My Hermit Mode is almost fully activated.  

Right after I typed this, for some reason I went over to Pinterest, I don't remember what I was going to look for, but this was on my home page:

You can take a look if you want.  It answered some questions I've been having.  And confirmed some feelings I've been having.  

I am probably not very good friend material right now, to be honest.  

There have been a lot of things happen to me in the last two years, and for the most part I just kept putting one foot in front of the other, making the best of every situation as much as I could.  I've kept my faith, I've kept my sobriety.  

If I am going to figure this out, whatever this is, I'm going to have to do by myself.  

That's probably why this fracas with my "friends" didn't upset me.  I'd already removed myself...they simply provided the way.  And it had to get that mean for me to stand my ground, so to speak.  To act like it didn't happen would have been a lie.

And...I have been feeling that my chakras need some help getting realigned.  It's been a hard couple of years for them, too.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

Fitting In

 How in the world does a person do that?  Is it easy?  

Or maybe a better question, how do you know if the people you pal around with are really your friend?

Here's where my concerns are.  Every morning as I am having my coffee, I check in with a few family members and friends.  

I find myself wondering, though, what would happen if I didn't do that?  How many days would it take for them to notice that they haven't heard from me?

Or...are they keeping in touch because they might need something from me?  

I want the people that I care about know that I care about them.  But I'm not sure that they care about me the same way.  

In my previous life, there were people that I saw every day of the week.  We laughed together and drank beers together, and I thought we were all friends.  But since I have been gone, not one single one of them have reached out to me, to see if I was ok, what really happened, nothing.  Silence.  *insert crickets*

I understand that they were "his" friends first and foremost.  It jarred me, though.  Did they ever like me?  

I probably shouldn't worry about this, and I really don't "worry," I'm just trying to figure out how to know.  Because now I feel pretty stoopid for caring so much about them.  

Ok, enough about my insecurities.  They only rear their ugly heads once in a great while.  

I made a thing...

I am liking doing these on the canvas.  

This is on a printed canvas. Made for Mary.

It's her two orange cats, Buddy (on the bottom) and Boo.

My kids are coming for a visit from Germany next month.  I haven't squeezed them for about 3 years now, so every day I am getting more and more excited.  I have made something special for both the girls, and am working on a gift for the boy.  

I am so excited for them to see my new place, and to meet Greg.  The oldest knows that "Papa" and I are no longer together, but I don't know if the younger ones know.  I will leave that up to their mother to tell them, and I will give them age appropriate answers to their questions.  

He didn't deserve to be in their lives.  

Ok, before I get too involved in thinking about "that," I will leave you for now.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

Greg

Handmade by Cosmo